What to Do When School Feels Impossible.

For many families, the start of a new school year is a time of excitement. New classes, new teachers, even the move from primary to secondary — it’s meant to be a fresh start. But for some children, especially those who are neurodivergent, “back to school” feels far from exciting. It feels impossible.

Why school refusal happens

School refusal isn’t the same as simply not wanting to go to school. It’s often driven by deep anxiety, sensory overwhelm, or unmet learning needs. Transitions, like moving up to secondary school, can trigger these struggles, but so can smaller changes: a new teacher, a different classroom, or even a busy corridor.

Neurodiversity can also play a big role. Children with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or other differences may face daily challenges with focus, social interaction, or emotional regulation. Over time, the pressure can become too much, and school starts to feel unbearable.

The impact on families

Parents often describe this time as one of fear and frustration. You want your child to thrive, but each morning turns into a battle. The uncertainty. Will they or won’t they go to school today? Will they ever go back? Am I failing them? Is it something I've done wrong? What happens now? 

If you’re experiencing this, please know: you’re not alone. Across the UK, thousands of families are facing the same reality.

Finding a way forward

The good news is that “school refusal” doesn’t mean your child’s education has to stop. There are compassionate, flexible alternatives that can help your child continue to learn, grow, and feel safe. These can include:

• Tuition tailored to your child’s needs

• Hybrid models that combine in-person and online learning

• Self-directed learning, with guidance and structure at their pace

• Coaching and mentoring to build confidence and resilience

  Every child is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. The key is finding an approach that supports both learning and wellbeing.

You don’t have to figure this out alone

At The CODE Education, we specialise in helping families explore these options and design a learning journey that truly works for their child.You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Here are some ways forward:

Join our Free Webinar: What to do when your child refuses school? Wednesday 15 October at 7 pm

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Book a free consultation: Speak with me about your child’s needs completely confidentially

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